cats are reincarnated stoners
To punish me for relegating her to canine jail at night, my dog became an ass muncher. That is to say, she actually chewed a hole in herself until she bled.
I ran to Centinella like a spastic new parent and purchased sprays, a cone of shame, a thunder shirt, more chew toys than the dog has places to put em (take that however the fuck you want), and treats to encourage the few non-asshole traits she has.
we had a tumultuous night together, the dog and I… I tried to crate her but she kept the house awake with wails of ultimate suffering. I then put her in the kitchen which still lead to whimper-barks that eerily sounded like the velociraptors in Jurrasic Park. I tried to correct this behavior with a squirt bottle and then she betrayed me. The bitch snapped at me. Her teeth never hit me, but she snapped at me. I bumped her nose and told her firmly “no”, and then she snapped again. I think she felt guilty because I marched her back to the crate without protest where she stayed quiet all night.
Every show I’ve seen or person I’ve spoken to talks of “crate training”. This is where you fool yourself into thinking your dog wants a cave to live in, and justify putting it in there whenever you aren’t home in lieu of training your dog not to be a dick. We have a crate for a litter of kittens I rescued at my store, and I figured it COULD be a good place to let the dog hang out when we’re eating so we don’t have a begging problem. We left the dog in this cage for exactly 1 1/2 hours to run an errand. I came back to a fecal-covered hound and smelly house. So far, I’m not digging this method.
I’m now convinced that the entire world is in on a horrible prank where whenever I get a beer, people actually hand me a bottle of cold piss.
I have been a dog owner for 1 hour and purchased 3 dog costumes/ outfits. Things aren’t looking good for my closet space. Jane Pawsten however, will be a well dressed dog